sat staring

I am sat here staring at my first blog and my head is empty, but full at the same time wondering where to start our life over the past 8 and a half years has not been an easy journey as my son has many challenges that makes our life non stop. I keep saying to myself that i would not change anything in my life, but i would be lying i would change alot one thing i would change is Autism and ADHD i hate everything about it, i hate that my wonderful 8 year old should be having a care free life going on sleepovers mates coming by knocking and asking for Aaron to come and play. But my son's life is taken over by this horrible disability Autism he is not carefree and happy he is a very frustrated little boy that i can't make him happy and when he self harms my heart breaks in two, i can't do anything to help him.

I would change the fact that i have never been called mummy that i can't read him a bedtime story, comfort him, play with him be his mummy and not his carer.

This blog will be more positive this is just what is going round my head at the moment bearing in mind i have been up since 5am with yet another sleepless night with Aaron.